Stairway to Kevin

boringloser: Gettin’ Rid of Brittaby Some Worries Some total...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:22:56 -0600

Gettin’ Rid of Britta
by Some Worries

Some total genius put the full 2-minute “Gettin’ Rid of Britta” song from last night’s Community online. By Vaughn’s band, “Some Worries.” It’s rad. Take it Pierce!

movieoftheday: Meryl: Why don’t you let me fix you some of this...

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:14:10 -0600

movieoftheday:

Meryl: Why don’t you let me fix you some of this new Mococoa drink? All natural cocao beans from the upper slopes of Mt. Nicaragua. No artificial sweeteners.
Truman: What the hell are you talking about? Who are you talking to?
Meryl: I’ve tasted other cocoas. This is the best.

How not to impress a girl.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:51:31 -0600

okay-me-too:

kevinslane:

alexwatt:

Part 1.) If the girl you are talking to currently attends Hofstra University drunkenly tell them the story of how Wayne Gretzky defeated the odds by not only making the Hofstra football team as an undersized wide receiver but the New York Jets as well. Tell the story with enthusiasm and don’t forget to mention his struggles with head injuries. For additional points explain that even though you are a Giants fan you still have an incredible respect for Wayne Gretzky.

Part 2.) a.) Realize two days later that you meant to say Wayne Chrebet.

b.) Come to terms with the fact that there is no way any girl cares about that story, regardless of whether it was Wayne Gretzky or Wayne Chrebet.

Hahaha, that’s awesome, and sadly true. I don’t think I know many girls, much less Hofstra girls, who would give a shit about that story. Come to think of it, the only Hofstra girls I know personally are not the type I’d want to date anyways.

whoa whoa whoa I go to hofstra

Hahaha uhh… whoops. Well, if you knew the girls that went to my high school who went to Hofstra, you’d forgive my bias.

edit: Scratch that, if you know them and are friends with them, this could get really awkward.

GPOYW—Halloween edition Before anyone gets all up in my...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:47:42 -0600

GPOYW—Halloween edition

Before anyone gets all up in my grillhouse, yes, this was a pretty weak interpretation of a sexy Abe Lincoln costume. I was busy all week, and didn’t dedicate enough time to the admittedly great tradition of making a kickass costume.

That being said, subtle parts of the costume that can’t be seen from this angle:

1) My buttons were all pennies

2) I had tattoos that said “Four Score and Seven Beers Ago” and “America, Fuck Yeah”

3) The back of my Tuxedo Tee had a big #16 on it (for the 16th president) and had “Rail Splitter” written along the top.

4) The only stovepipe hat I could find was at a place that exclusively sold fancy hats, and it was $90.

To offer some guidance on my other roommate’s costumes: from L to R we have Sexy Clinton, Sexy Dubya (or Reagan, depending on when you asked him), Sexy Lincoln, Sexy Teddy Roosevelt.

How not to impress a girl.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:40:54 -0600

alexwatt:

Part 1.) If the girl you are talking to currently attends Hofstra University drunkenly tell them the story of how Wayne Gretzky defeated the odds by not only making the Hofstra football team as an undersized wide receiver but the New York Jets as well. Tell the story with enthusiasm and don’t forget to mention his struggles with head injuries. For additional points explain that even though you are a Giants fan you still have an incredible respect for Wayne Gretzky.

Part 2.) a.) Realize two days later that you meant to say Wayne Chrebet.

b.) Come to terms with the fact that there is no way any girl cares about that story, regardless of whether it was Wayne Gretzky or Wayne Chrebet.

Hahaha, that’s awesome, and sadly true. I don’t think I know many girls, much less Hofstra girls, who would give a shit about that story. Come to think of it, the only Hofstra girls I know personally are not the type I’d want to date anyways.

The Daily Cardinal - Terrible national championship the key to ending BCS

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:26:17 -0600

The Daily Cardinal - Terrible national championship the key to ending BCS:

Well, here’s one good reason to support Iowa the rest of the way…

Stumbled across this awesome database on SomethingAwful. AOL...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:05:29 -0600

Stumbled across this awesome database on SomethingAwful. AOL accidentally released tons of user data back in 2006, just a bit before I got to college and became more Internet-savvy. These databases are about 100 times funnier than all those Google screencaps people put up now. I could spend hours reading these.

As my Tumblrarity dips below the Mendoza line

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:51:07 -0600

I just wanted to apologize for being an absentee Tumblr for the last few weeks. School work has been having its way with me, despite this being my senior year. I’ve also taken on many additional responsibilities at the newspaper, which has sapped a lot of my time as well.

Still, it feels good being off the Internet for awhile.

How’s life, my Tumblr buddies?

wezzo: What English Sounds Like to Foreigners A German singer...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:46:35 -0600

wezzo:

What English Sounds Like to Foreigners

A German singer wrote this song with gibberish to sound like English. If you’ve ever wondered what other people think Americans sound like, this is it. [via TNBT]

Interesting, I’ve actually always wondered. Funny as well.

I’m sure some language expert could dissect what exactly is going on here, but really, it’s just a cool-sounding song to me.

mattgorman: WE WILL FUCKING CUT YOU I can’t decide who...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:41:13 -0600

mattgorman:

WE WILL FUCKING CUT YOU

I can’t decide who to attempt to trash talk here. And really, I should be hoping that you guys beat Ohio St. so that the Big Ten looks good and we have a chance to move up in the Big 10 standings (depending on what happens Saturday in the Ohio St. vs. Penn St. game), but man, I am not a fan of the Hawkeyes this year.

danieleric: fuckyeahpixarmovies: fuckyeahdisneysongs: Put On...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:32:16 -0600

danieleric:

fuckyeahpixarmovies:

fuckyeahdisneysongs:

Put On Your Sunday Clothes - WALL-E

Something I noticed at work

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:21:43 -0600

mattgorman:

I was wearing an Iowa hat and shirt to support the Hawks even though I couldn’t watch. All the servers who came back when Iowa was losing were more than happy to update me on the status of the game, but nobody ever mentioned anything when they came back to win it. Jerks.

Note: This may have been because Iowa came back to win it during lunch rush and they didn’t have time to check the game.

Wait wait wait… the funny part of this story is that you work as a server, right?

(via ragetoons) Is this a common thing? Does Dan Bialek follow...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:25:22 -0500

(via ragetoons)

Is this a common thing? Does Dan Bialek follow everyone on Tumblr with his personal projects? I felt so special for a minute…

"When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ‘all men are created equal, except negroes, and..."

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:20:18 -0500

““When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ‘all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and catholics.’ When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty — to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be take pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy.””

- Abraham Lincoln, 1855, in a letter to longtime friend Joshua Speed

I am dressed as this man for Halloween.

(via ohmygodwaytoolong)

ME TOO!!! HALLOWEEN COSTUME TWINZIES!!!!!!!!!1

welcometothisblogbitch: HalloWIN. I never knew one video could...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:08:52 -0500

welcometothisblogbitch:

HalloWIN.

I never knew one video could contain so much win

fuckyeahad: J. Walter Weatherman: Oh my God, my arm!Michael:...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:31:43 -0500

fuckyeahad:

J. Walter Weatherman: Oh my God, my arm!
Michael: Oh, my God, this guy’s arm! Just… came off and landed on the dock.
Narrator: Michael realized that his father had, once again, taught him an elaborate lesson.
J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you don’t teach lessons to your son.

gsauce: I just wasted the better half of the night reading this...

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:27:49 -0500

gsauce:

I just wasted the better half of the night reading this guy’s comments on CollegeHumor. You wouldn’t be alone if your first instinct was to comment back to this guy (yes, I am making the assumption he is a guy) and say “what’s your problem?” But here’s the kicker— I really *do* want to know what his problem is. I want to know why he keeps coming back to CollegeHumor. I don’t mean that in an accusatory way, I really am curious. Why would he continually subject himself to such abuse if he hated the site and the associated style of comedy to such an absurd degree?

I’ve come up with a few guesses myself. At first I entertained the conspiracy theory that ‘MH’ is really the product of the CollegeHumor staff. ‘He’ is just a clever ruse to slyly poke fun at themselves and their audience. After all, much of CH’s humor is tongue-in-cheek, almost a satire of their own style.

On the other hand, maybe this guy really is a masochist. Maybe he enjoys feeling the burning anger that I usually reserve for something like Fox News or Nazis. Maybe he gets off on being able to loathe a group of people without having that pesky pang of guilt usually associated with such feelings.

Maybe he feels like something really needs to be said. After all, let’s be honest here. CollegeHumor is a hotbed of smut and lowbrow humor. Even their best pieces are often sophomoric at best. Not that I’m complaining (for god’s sake I wrote a song the other day called College Girls are Easy). Maybe he has a point— maybe we (I include myself here) are encouraging the degradation of America’s higher culture (if that even exists). Maybe we are enabling our young men to view women as inferior, as nothing more than sex symbols. Maybe if CollegeHumor didn’t exist, the world would be a better place.

But, even if that were true, why bother attacking the site through its commentary section? That’s like yelling at a movie while sitting in the cinema’s seats. What good does he really think he can do?

Perhaps, and this is the most likely case I believe, he is just fed up with the fanboyish glee of CollegeHumor visitors. I admit I’m a bit of a fan(girl) myself and have, at times, been stupidly obsessed with various parts of the CollegeHumor franchise. Maybe MH was a devout follower of CH long ago, back when it was in its ‘golden days’, which, like many days of this description, never really existed quite how we believe they did. I’ve heard older friends speak of these days— when CH was fresh and young. When the actors were more accessible. When there were less n00b fans on the sites, less highschoolers, less Jake and Amir. Maybe MH feels spurned by CollegeHumor. Maybe, like the the tragic hipsters of the Indie scene, MH fell in love with CH before it was cool. Now they represent a comedic massacre, mercilessly pumped out like the hamburger meat at McDonalds. He thought that Streeter, Amir, Jeff and Sarah were his *real* friends. He *cared* about them. He wanted them to succeed! And what did they do? They became the cool kids. They turned their backs on him and his kind. Instead of the lengthy, thoughtful articles they once wrote (yes, even I look sadly on this part), they now churn out chopped-up bite-sized pieces of pop culture for adderall-ridden 18-year-olds who can’t sit still long enough to finish a 100-word article.

So, yeah, MH is a bit of a pretentious dick. Maybe we’re best off just ignoring him and moving along out merry way. But maybe, just maybe, he’s a reminder that anyone producing new media should strive just a little harder— really push yourself to produce something you are truly proud of. Maybe he’s that bit of ourselves reminding us not to settle for mediocrity, to hold out for greatness.

And then again, maybe he’s just another lonely internet asshole, shouting insults into the darkness.

The funny part? He’s complaining about them making an article that simply covers the best stuff that happened in October. So, if he was a rabid fanboy who followed everything on the site, he’d have seen it already, making it an easily skippable piece. If he wasn’t a frequent reader, the column is actually a nice feature, because it packages the best 5 things that went up on the site in October (without tooting their own horn too badly by adding nothing but CH originals). The points you raise are valid, but MH is way out of line.

alexwatt: (via eyeonspringfield) I’m pretty sure this is...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:39:43 -0500

alexwatt:

(via eyeonspringfield)

I’m pretty sure this is my first reblog of Eye on Springfield ever, but this scene has stuck with me over the years.

randomsox: (via raggedywisdom / rocketlauncher) NEVER...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:34:28 -0500

randomsox:

(via raggedywisdom / rocketlauncher)
NEVER FORGET.

Too beautiful for words

Watch my dad on TV this Tuesday

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 19:33:00 -0500

Watch my dad on TV this Tuesday:

The History Channel show “The Universe” has been looking at galactic phenomena, and Tuesday’s episode deals with pulsars and quasars.

From the episode description:

“They sort of sound like the same phenomenon, but Pulsars and Quasars are very different. Pulsars are tiny—only a few miles across—but they spin as fast as a kitchen blender and sweep the sky with beacons of radiation that make them appear to flash on and off. They have unbelievably strong magnetic fields, are more accurate than atomic clocks…and they can even tell aliens just where to find the Earth! Quasars are at the other end of the spectrum. Quasars are huge cores of galaxies with black holes that are called “monsters” and which spit lobes of radiating gas called “DRAGNs.” Quasars are so far away, we see them as they were only in the distant past—meaning they existed only in the early universe, when they may have played a major role in the creation of the galaxies themselves.”

The History Channel crew got hours of footage of my Dad for this, but he hasn’t seen an advance copy, so he has no idea how much he’ll be in the show. It could be several segments, it could be 30 seconds. Regardless, I’ll be tuning in, and you all should too.