Stairway to Kevin

Stumbled across this awesome database on SomethingAwful. AOL accidentally released tons of user data back in 2006, just a bit before I got to college and became more Internet-savvy. These databases are about 100 times funnier than all those Google screencaps people put up now. I could spend hours reading these.

As my Tumblrarity dips below the Mendoza line

I just wanted to apologize for being an absentee Tumblr for the last few weeks. School work has been having its way with me, despite this being my senior year. I’ve also taken on many additional responsibilities at the newspaper, which has sapped a lot of my time as well.

Still, it feels good being off the Internet for awhile.

How’s life, my Tumblr buddies?

wezzo:

What English Sounds Like to Foreigners

A German singer wrote this song with gibberish to sound like English. If you’ve ever wondered what other people think Americans sound like, this is it. [via TNBT]

Interesting, I’ve actually always wondered. Funny as well.

I’m sure some language expert could dissect what exactly is going on here, but really, it’s just a cool-sounding song to me.

mattgorman:

WE WILL FUCKING CUT YOU

I can’t decide who to attempt to trash talk here. And really, I should be hoping that you guys beat Ohio St. so that the Big Ten looks good and we have a chance to move up in the Big 10 standings (depending on what happens Saturday in the Ohio St. vs. Penn St. game), but man, I am not a fan of the Hawkeyes this year.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

896 plays

danieleric:

fuckyeahpixarmovies:

fuckyeahdisneysongs:

Put On Your Sunday Clothes - WALL-E

Something I noticed at work

mattgorman:

I was wearing an Iowa hat and shirt to support the Hawks even though I couldn’t watch. All the servers who came back when Iowa was losing were more than happy to update me on the status of the game, but nobody ever mentioned anything when they came back to win it. Jerks.

Note: This may have been because Iowa came back to win it during lunch rush and they didn’t have time to check the game.

Wait wait wait… the funny part of this story is that you work as a server, right?

(via ragetoons)

Is this a common thing? Does Dan Bialek follow everyone on Tumblr with his personal projects? I felt so special for a minute…

When the Know-Nothings get control, it will read ‘all men are created equal, except negroes, and foreigners, and catholics.’ When it comes to this I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretence of loving liberty — to Russia, for instance, where despotism can be take pure, and without the base alloy of hypocracy.

“

—	Abraham Lincoln, 1855, in a letter to longtime friend Joshua Speed I am dressed as this man for Halloween. (via ohmygodwaytoolong) ME TOO!!! HALLOWEEN COSTUME TWINZIES!!!!!!!!!1

welcometothisblogbitch:

HalloWIN.

I never knew one video could contain so much win

fuckyeahad:

J. Walter Weatherman: Oh my God, my arm!
Michael: Oh, my God, this guy’s arm! Just… came off and landed on the dock.
Narrator: Michael realized that his father had, once again, taught him an elaborate lesson.
J. Walter Weatherman: And that’s why you don’t teach lessons to your son.